εὔνοια

n., beautiful thinking
Recent Tweets @meftihe

loveisrespect:

What is Gaslighting?

  • You’re crazy - that never happened.
  • Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.
  • It’s all in your head.

Does your significant other say things like this to you a lot? Do you often start questioning what’s really true – or even your own sanity – within your relationship? If so, your partner may be using what mental health professionals call “gaslighting.”

This term comes from the 1938 stage play Gas Light, in which a husband attempts to drive his wife crazy by dimming the lights (which were powered by gas) in their home, and then he denies that the light changed when his wife points it out. It is a very effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity, which gives the abusive partner a lot of power (and we know that abuse is about power and control). Once an abusive partner has broken down the victim’s ability to trust their own perceptions, the victim is more likely to stay in the abusive relationship.

Signs of being a victim of gaslighting (Stern, 2009) include:

  • You constantly second-guess yourself.
  • You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” multiple times a day.
  • You often feel confused and even crazy.
  • You’re always apologizing to your partner.
  • You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
  • You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
  • You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
  • You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
  • You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
  • You have trouble making simple decisions.
  • You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
  • You feel hopeless and joyless.
  • You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
  • You wonder if you are a “good enough” partner.

If any of these signs ring true for you, give us a call at 1-866-331-9474, chat online, or text loveis to 22522. Our advocates are here to support and listen to you!

[Head over to loveisrespect.org to read this blogpost in its entirety.]

Here’s a sure-fire way to know that you hate women: when an incident of intimate partner violence in which a man knocks a woman unconscious gains national attention and every question or comment you think to make has to do with her behavior, you really hate women. Like, despise.

There is no other explanation. There is no “I need all the facts.” There is no excuse. You hate women. Own it.

Now, you probably don’t believe you hate women. You probably honestly think you’re being an objective observer whose only interest is the truth. You are delusional.

We have this problem in our discourse around the most important challenges we face where we feel we have to be “fair to both sides.” But sometimes, one of those sides is subjugation and oppression. If you’re OK with legitimizing that side in the interest of “fairness,” you’re essentially saying you’re OK with oppression as a part of the human condition. That’s some hateful shit.

iwriteaboutfeminism:

Earlier this year, Baltimore Ravens football player Ray Rice beat his then-fiance Janay Palmer in an elevator, knocking her out. He was suspended for two games. 

This morning, TMZ released a video of the incident. 

Part 1

[Part 2]

"I was set free because my greatest fear had been realized, and I still had a daughter who I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life."

Happy Birthday Joanne Rowling (7/31/1965) and Harry James Potter (7/31/1980)

(via dailypotter)

dualpaperbags:

paulmcfruity:

This Icelandic police force has the most adorable Instagram account 

Meet the Reykjavík Metropolitan Police, serving the capital of Iceland. By the looks of their incredible Instagram account, a normal day includes holding kittens, eating candy and wearing false mustaches.

There’s more where those came from | Follow micdotcom

For the record the Icelandic police are probably the best police force in the world, There has only been one instance where an officer shot and killed a civilian in the entire history of the country (which is nearly a hundred years) and everyone was completely devastated by it, the police especially — because, as made clear in their statements after the incident, they understand their function is to protect the people. Not to mention that their general police go unarmed except for special squads.

Let’s run through some more facts while we’re on the subject: Compared to 31,000+ shooting deaths in the US in 2009, Iceland had… 4, because they have very rigorous screening processes for gun permits. There is very little economic disparity between upper, middle and lower classes, and social welfare programs take care of their people. Drug use affects less than 1% of the population between 15 and 65 years old, and 90% of drug-related court cases are settled with a fine rather than jail time. Violent crime is virtually non-existent. [x]

Iceland is like if you took the entire idea of chill and personified it as an country, and this exemplifies that. 

(via lonelymountainorbust)

fishingboatproceeds:

water:

Via fishingboatproceeds:

During my time in Ethiopia, I met many people who rely on health care outposts like the one seen in the bottom two pictures here. Through these outposts, children and families get vaccines, diagnoses, and treatment for diseases like diarrhea and pneumonia.

But most of these families, and most of their health care facilities, don’t have regular access to clean water. When I asked people about their greatest needs, almost all of them—from the Women’s Health Army volunteers to children—cited clean water first.

More than 45 million Ethiopians live without clean water. I spoke to women who walk miles every other day with heavy jerrycans to get drinking water for their families. The people I met explained how lack of clean water is a health problem, a financial problem, and a family problem.

So for the next week nerdfighteria is teaming up with water.org to raise money to build sustainable wells so that more than 4,000 people in Ethiopia can have clean water. Please join me in donating—or, if you can’t, in spreading the word. Thanks, and DFTBA.

Water.org thanks John Green for his continued support.

That’s a pretty sweet tumblr username, water.org. I can’t believe you guys got “water” and I’m stuck with “fishingboatproceeds.” 

MORE IMPORTANTLY, IF WE GET TO $100,000 BILL GATES WILL MATCH OUR DONATION AND $8,000 PEOPLE IN RURAL ETHIOPIA WILL GET ACCESS TO SAFE WATER THROUGH NEW WELLS. We’ve already raised over $16,000. Thanks, and keep spreading the word!

whatisthat-velvet:

raresenses:

whatisthat-velvet:

securelyinsecure:

Yvette Nicole Brown Responds to the NY Times’s portrayal of Shonda Rhimes as an “Angry Black Woman”

I didn’t even see Yvette’s tweets..But yeah. This happened and Black twitter went in.

that racist bitch had the nerve to put the phrase “less classically beautiful” together, like we wouldn’t know what that meant.

I couldn’t even read it. I read the first two sentences and couldn’t continue. It was awful.

(via blackfashion)

Me and you, we got more yesterday than anybody. We need some kind of tomorrow.
Toni Morrison, Beloved (via palmares-politics)

(via palmares-politics)

basedgosh:

*randomly feels pain on a random part of my body* oh god here we go im gonna die

(via ladyturian)